Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing is a
ground-breaking resource that explores the “why” behind self-destructive
sexual choices. The book is based on research from over 3,800 men and
women seeking freedom from unwanted sexual behavior, be that the use of
pornography, an affair, or buying sex.
Jay Stringer’s (M.Div, MA, LMHC) original research found that unwanted sexual behavior can be both shaped by and predicted based on the parts of our story—past and present—that remain unaddressed. When we pay attention to our unwanted sexual desires and identify the unique reasons that trigger them, the path of healing is revealed.
Jay Stringer’s (M.Div, MA, LMHC) original research found that unwanted sexual behavior can be both shaped by and predicted based on the parts of our story—past and present—that remain unaddressed. When we pay attention to our unwanted sexual desires and identify the unique reasons that trigger them, the path of healing is revealed.
Although many of us feel ashamed and
unwanted after years of sexual brokenness, the book invites the reader
to see that behavior as the very location God can most powerfully work
in their lives. It can reveal the depth of God's kindness. Counselors, pastors, and accountability partners of
those who experience sexual shame will also find in this book the deep
spiritual and psychological guidance they need to effectively minister
to the sexually broken around them.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
- A Theology of Unwanted Sexual Behavior
- Setting the Course of Unwanted Sexual Behavior
- Dysfunctional Family Systems
- Abandonment: A Life in Exile
- Triangulation: When You're Married to Your Parent
- Trauma as Soul Loss
- Sexual Abuse: The Corruption of Desire
- The Six Core Experiences of Unwanted Sexual Behavior
- Three Hijackers of Our Souls
- The Sex Industry: Pornography as Male Violence against Women
- Transforming Self: Learning to Love and Care for Yourself
- A New Sexual Story: Sexual Healing
- Exercise Attunement and Containment in Your Relationships
- Practice Conflict and Repair in Your Relationships
- Pursue Strength and Vulnerability in Your Relationships
- Learning to Invest in Community
- Community as a Place to Experience Structure and Mutual Support
- Community as a Place to Offer Empathy for the Stories of Others
- Community as a Place to Discover Purpose: Living for a Bigger Story
Conclusion and Research Appendix
ENDORSEMENTS:
Unwanted is, without rival, the best book on broken sexuality I have ever read. It is heartbreaking and hope-restoring, and with immense kindness, it proceeds to where most work stalls and refuses to enter. Jay's research is groundbreaking. No one has pursued these dark waters with as much light-offering, data-bound research. Even more, Jay offer the heart of the gospel in a manner that doesn't trivialize sin or addiction but lifts the battle up to the ambivalence we have about freedom. This book will be a classic that anchors us in brilliant research, soul honesty, and biblical reflection.
- Dan Allender, PhD, author of Healing the Wounded Heart .
Unwanted enters the heartache of sexual brokenness and reveals the deepest longings withing us for redemption. Recognizing how evil seeks to misdirect our longings, Jay illuminates how even our sin can reveal important truths about ourselves and our unique path to redemption. Through groundbreaking research and a heart for the gospel, Stringer invites us to the critical task of finding hope and meaning within our sexual lives. He clearly shows how Christ invites us to depth of desire, not death of desire.
- Christopher West, author, Fill These Hearts: God, Sex, and the Universal Longing.
Over the past twenty-five years of ministry, I've witnessed many men and women floundering in a sea of hopelessness due to their own (or a spouse's) sexual brokenness. That's why I'm so excited about and grateful for Jay's work in the field of sexual addiction and restoration. If you're hungry for deep healing, or searching for practical ways to help others heal from unhealthy emotional entanglements and sexual dysfunction, Unwanted will be an incredibly sharp tool in your tool belt!
- Shannon Ethridge, MA, author of Every Woman's Battle.
